My oldest absolutely dislikes the sound of chewing, especially in the car. It makes her really uneasy and feel out of control. She would yell at her siblings, telling them not to breathe or chew like that around her. Here's how I handle situations like this.
First of all I teach all of my kids to repeat this “They are not annoying, I am feeling annoyed”. I will have them repeat it, chant it, memorize it. Why? Because it ties into my value system of we have a right to complain, “I feel annoyed”, not criticize, “They are annoying”. It helps kids reframe their thinking process from placing blame to taking responsibility. It teaches them that they can only control themselves and not try to change or control others (a very important lesson for future, adult relationships). I told my daughter, you will be in a lot of situations and places in life where people are breathing or chewing loudly in your presence. You can't change them nor should you as eating and breathing is a natural part of being human. I asked her what she does to help ease her tension around unpleasant noises? The answer was simple: remove yourself, change seats or if that's not possible, then make sure you always have your headphones readily available to block out the sounds that cause you unpleasantness.
Parenting is not just the tangible and physical caretaking. We feed them, clothe them, house them, provide tangible and financial things for them. But most of parenting for me is the emotional stuff and I can honestly say it is by far the hardest part. The last thing I want to do while I’m driving to soccer practice is to now have to use emotional awareness and intentionality to help solve this chewing/noise/kid fight dilemma. But as a mom who wants to raise emotionally intelligent children, it's my duty and obligation to. Teaching them to regulate and take responsibility, while I myself had to start practicing what I was preaching is a huge mental motherload but I'll take progress, not perfection.
"They are not annoying, I am feeling annoyed" - simple, effective & easy to communicate to the little ones
What adds more to your parental burnout? The physical or emotional motherload?
because we repeat what we don't repair